The creamiest of the cakes, the cheesiest of the food - everything was in front of her yet she couldn't eat it. She loved the chocolates, the candies but something stopped her. "Hey Fatso" they called her and laughed. Maybe out of fun but seemed more of a mock. She didn't like these words for her but she was helpless. She knew she was healthy but the extra fat wouldn't leave her. She tried hard, she ate all diet foods yet the fat didn't leave her. What could she have done?
Soon she started to go cold turkey on all her favorite foods because she thought that this was the problem between her and the "beautiful" people lurked for. She gave up and yet nothing happened. She was going through an emotional turmoil but all she heard was "you need to hit the gym" by her own friends, even strangers who ended up mocking her on Facebook, Instagram etc. Compliments like "hot, beautiful" was a far off thing for her to get and it was depressing. Others could wear anything they wanted to, to flaunt their hot beaming bodies but she was a mess.
She couldn't wear skirts, crop tops, dresses because the extra flab started bothered her and the look of it bothered the people around. Time and again she was reminded of how ugly she was. She followed everything diligently and yet things didn't work in her favor. She tried gazillion diet tricks, went on for days without food thinking she will lose the weight but she didn't. She even hit the gym, something she was told to do since a long time by a lot of people, even strangers but nothing worked out. She thought she'd never fit into the standard of "beautiful" and she did every possible thing to become what others wanted her to become. Between the rift of turning beautiful for others, and fitting the standard of 'beautiful', she lost her own self. She spent days thinking what went wrong with her, why she turned cranky, why she just wasn't happy in her own skin. She realized what the problem was!
The problem was not her but the people. The people who wanted her to become a certain way, the people who glorified what "beautiful" meant when there was no universal meaning given to it, ever! They were the same people who decided what ugly meant, what fat meant, what skinny meant! Who were these people, from where did they come? Questions were many, answers were none. The only thing that was in front of her was the fact that it really wasn't her fault that she became this way or was fat or ugly or skinny.
The day she realized this, she gave up. She gave up not the idea of losing weight for those people, but the idea of doing things the people want. So what if she was fat? She was beautiful! No one ever has the rights to call someone with names that make that person question their existence in the society! Slow and steady, she reached where she wanted to. No she still didn't turn thin or lose enormous amount of weight, but she reached a point where she felt healthy and that was it. That was her point where she wanted to stay and no one could take that away from her. She was fat, for you maybe, but she was beautiful and you are no one to take that away from her or anyone else.
She was her, she is me, she might be you tomorrow! Don't let things like this take a toll on you and your well being and mental well being like how she did to her self. You learn from your mistakes, she learnt from hers. NO, her mistake wasn't that she was fat, her mistake was when she trusted people more than she could with herself and ended up ruining everything she had prior her giving a heed to what people said.
She didn't need validation from people for how "beautiful" she was, she knew she was and that's the end of the story.
There are a few things you need to take in now. 1) You are beautiful no matter what. Don't let anyone take your peace away like how she let people take hers. 2) Do everything for yourself and not for others. No one really cares at the end of the day! They just want to say something or the other for the rest of their lives. 3) You're you. You're your own self. Never change anything for anyone. 4) Do not justify what you're doing to others. They don't need to know. You want to eat the cake, eat it! They don't need to know why you want to eat it. 5) It's your life, your mind, never disrupt it for the people. At the end of the day they don't know you. You don't know them. Let it be.
And to the people who love mocking and commenting on people - YOU DIDN'T KNOW HER STORY, YOU WON'T EVER KNOW IT. YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT. YOU'RE NO ONE TO DESCRIBE WHAT BEAUTIFUL IS, SO BACK OFF!
Love, Her, me, you. Everyone.
Comments